Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Auto-pilot...

Is that what I'm doing?
Living each day as if on auto-pilot?
Doing what has to be done?
Coping with Eilidh's diagnosis automatically?
Without much thought?
Without direction?
Without actually being in control?

Why am I thinking this?
Someone asked today if I was "on auto-pilot?"
Well, am I?

No.
I engage with each day.
I try to choose my attitude...
My mood...
My actions.
I try so very hard...
I need to.
For my sake
and for the sake of my family.

And each day
I try
and need
to find a little ounce of strength
From somewhere
or someone.
Enough to carry me through the day.

And each day I try to be calm
And thoughtful
Because I need to.
Because I have to.

I take each day as it comes.
Fully present.
Fully aware.
Fully engaged...

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