Tuesday, November 02, 2010

In therapy...

I realised yesterday, and not for the first time, what an important role Mrs CBT has played in my life over the last few months.

Firstly, on the morning before we found out about Eilidh's SMA she talked me through how to look positively at the future, no matter what the diagnosis.  The fact that I would love Eilidh no matter what, that I would provide her with a safe and loving home within a wonderful family, and allow her the independence that she deserved, able or disabled.  These realisations perhaps did not help me in the initial hours and days after our world was turned upside down BUT now, in the present,  they carry me through every day, giving me the strength to live with SMA.

Secondly, she helped me realise that, above all, my emotional well being is tantamount to our family happiness and well being.  So, everyday, I work a little on my emotional well being, and everyday I hope that I get a little bit stronger.

So thank you, Mrs CBT - I haven't thanked you in person yet, but I will.

Monday, November 01, 2010


A coffee and a chat with a friend...
And snippets of the conversation which was, I have to say, so very uplifting!

"I don't know how you are coping; I don't know how I would cope"
"You would cope.  You would take each day as it comes.  You have to cope.  There's really no other way."

"How's you relationship with D?"
"We're good, We're coping, taking each day as it comes. We've never fought or shouted.  We're talking everything through openly and honestly.  Actually, I'm not sure how we are coping, but we are.  Perhaps it's because we frequently remind ourselves how lucky we are, how grateful we are for everything we have."

"When's the book coming out?"
"Guffaw... After we've moved, changed nursery, fundraised, studied, and I've taken care of my physical, emotional and spiritual health!"

"Spiritual health is really important, isn't it?"
"Yes. Definitely! I am not angry at God for what has happened. How can I be? I just need to look at Eilidh and I can feel no anger.  I have entrusted my children to God."
"You have such grace..."

I was reminded of so much today.
Primarily of how well we as a family are doing
How far I have come over the last few months. 

But I have to remember not to be too tough on myself...
I am doing well...
We as a family are doing fantastically...

Taking each day as it comes.
Being grateful for all that we have.
Remembering to look after ourselves
And living with grace.

What a coffee and chat!