A diary day...
"there have been so many moments when i have thought
"i need to write that down"
"i need to think about that more"
but then time passes on by and i forget or don't make the time just to sit down, be still, be alone and reflect and write.
i don't know where time goes.
yes, it passes, but too quickly.
all too quickly.
time won't stand still. i do not own it. neither can i control it. i, we, just have to live in each moment of time that we have.
i was thinking earlier if i am the best that i can be when i am with david and the little ones?
i wanted, and still want to believe that i am.
i could tell myself that i am, but i know that i am not.
i am damn good when i am with them and present in their love.
but, at the moment at least, i am best (probably) when i am alone with no one pushing or pulling me in this direction or that direction.
i feel more in control.
more at peace.
is that selfish? i hope not: i don't think so...
these moments alone allow me to be better when i am with them. i can give more of myself to them, knowing that i have had time to myself. time to be true to myself."