Sunday, February 27, 2011

Swings and round-a-bouts

I used to love play parks...

Swings
and
Round-a-bouts;
Swishy slides
and
Bouncing trampolines;
Children running
Here
&
There;
Their squeals 
and
Infectious giggles;
Come rain
or
Shine
I loved play parks.

Not any more.
I have grown to despise them.
They are everything that Eilidh can not do.
I am surrounded by able children
Running,
Jumping,
Hoping,
Sliding.
I cannot share their joy,
Their excitement,
Their fun...

Today, for the first time, Eilidh wanted to go on the climbing frame.
She pointed and shouted
"shot, shot, shot!"
She saw the other toddlers:
She wanted to walk across the bridge
And she was adamant...

My heart ached -
A deep, deep pain -
And the tears fell.
Sobbing, I carried her away,
Hoping to distract her.
Hoping to distract myself.

How do you explain that she can't?
That she can't walk
Or toddle with her toddlers?
That she will never walk or run or hop?
I can't...
But I know that the time will come
When she will start to ask questions -
Hopefully we'll be ready to answer them.
For the moment though
I don't like play parks...

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