Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Hard work

a good luck card from mummydeen

And so... back to work I went.

I didn't look back that morning as I left the house:
Kisses and waves and "good lucks" from the girls,
And a little concern from D perhaps,
But this was for me.
A new start;
The time had come for me to regain a little piece of myself long forgotten.
The me from before...
The me from before SMA.

A new job perhaps but I was welcomed with open arms back into the bosom of old familiar faces.  They know me and I know them.  They know that they can trust me, that I will work hard, that I will listen to my patients and care for them, and their families, until the end.  I know them: who to trust, who to talk to when care and sensitivity is needed, who to go to for a smile, a coffee or a cake.  Those I don't know have heard about me and they welcome me with open arms of expectation.

I do have some worries though:
Will I live up to every one's expectations?
Are they right to have such faith in me?
Do I have as much to give this time round?
I'm not sure...
I'm not the same woman who worked there five years ago.
I'm a mother now.
I'm a carer, too.
I'm older and wiser, but a heavy heart beats inside me.

I can only do my best though, can't I?
I can only give what there is to give,
Saving enough for me and my family,
Protecting myself from harm.

So... back to work tomorrow and, I hate to admit it, worries aside, I'm looking forward to it; It's my time.