Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Coughs and Splutters



The temperatures are dropping and jack frost dances across the land; Christmas is nearly upon us.  Unfortunately, however, winter also brings snotty noses, coughs and splutters and for a little girl with SMA, it can be a worrying time.











and the coughing begins:
a little niggle first,
then a tickly cough,
cough, 
cough,
and then more
a good chesty, rib rattling cough
cough,
cough, cough,
cough, cough, cough:
something that we could - 
and perhaps should? -
be afraid of;
something that could quite easily become more.
but i look at her:
she is eating and drinking and smiling and laughing.
until one night:
she wakes up coughing 

and choking 
and crying.
her temperature is normal, her pulse unaltered, her breathing steady,
but she won't settle and I won't settle until she does.
a little sip of water stops the tickle - 
until the next one.
she's wide awake;

i crave the gentle peace of my slumber.
we chat:
Christmas, birthdays, presents, friends.

We sing songs:
Puff the Magic Dragon, Twinkle Twinkle, Baa Baa
and her favourite -  alibali alibali bee
until she falls asleep sitting upright,
nestled against my body.
only then, with her peaceful, do i find my peace.
the morning comes

and there is no hesitancy;
 antibiotics come out,
all guns blazing:

even though it's probably viral,
even though she'll probably get better on her own,

even though it’s against my clinical acumen.
but there on my shoulder sits
dr respiratory and dr neuron,
the comedy duo,
nagging that early antibiotics are best...
the first spoon is given;
she smiles,
"banana medicine!"
and I wait with baited breath.






3 comments:

Midlife Singlemum said...

Aw poor little thing. I wish her better and you a good night's sleep. xx

h0peful mummy said...

thank you, rachel. she's doing ok - very happy in herself just coughing!

BavarianSojourn said...

Fingers crossed she is cough-free soon. xx