Pondering on a drive east on Saturday, I had to go and open my mouth, didn't I?
"niamh, would you like to do another sport?"
bouncing up and down in her car seat, she replies; "emmm, gymnastics?"
then eilidh butts in, "mumma, can i do gymnastics, too?"
Struggling to know what to say, I mumble in response, "no, eilidh, you're not strong enough..."
The ever protective big sister quickly steps in, "eilidh, you know, some people are just different... like... you like pickles and i don't like pickles... mummy, what doesn't eilidh like?"
"yes, you don't like raspberries and i do. some people like things, some people don't...and i can do things that you can't... i can walk: you can't... i can run: you can't... but we are all different... you can go in a wheelchair: i can't... you can spin in your wheelchair: i can't..."
"but i don't want to be in my wheelchair..."
The silence was heavy; the ever present fracture in my heart opened, eilidh cried and I couldn't stop, journeying forward on the M8, aching for my little girl who will only ever cartwheel in her dreams.