Monday, February 04, 2013

From Milport to Marakopa

Have you ever thought of running?
When I say running, I mean running away?
From everything?
From real life?

I used to run away to the other side of the world,
to peace and quiet and anonymity,
away from friends and family
and towards adventure
with weightless baggage
and no discernible guidebook.

As soon as I boarded the plane
I would feel


In far off lands
I would stand back from life
and take stock,
reflecting upon what I was running from.
Invariably, in time, I would find myself again,
lost amongst my thoughts
and return home to those I love, to places familiar, to my life.

I cannot not run now,
there is so much to leave behind.
I wonder when the option was lost?
At the start of a relationship?
With the joining of a marriage?
With the arrival of a child?
When three became four on the birth of second child?
Or when life became the life unexpected?
In reality, the moment blurs;
Commitment has made me face
real life and the
everyday rollercoaster of
marriage and children,
with the added
which hit with destructive force
in recent years.

I am stronger -
there is no doubting this -
and yet I still have moments,
days and even weeks
when I do want to run;
when I want to leave this
life unexpected,
to start afresh
where ever I need to go.
From Milport to Marakopa
or anywhere in between...

Who's coming with me?


Midlife Singlemum said...

I sometimes think up amazing plans to go off somewhere for a few months, a year, two... Then I remember that even though I can teach DD all she needs to know at this age, she needs her friends and and her social standing in her familiar school. She needs her home that feels safe and her routine that allows her as much independence as possible at this age. I could run away but I can't tear DD away from her life to spice up mine. Maybe in another 15 years?

lalibela said...

Me me me
I want to come :)